Of Mice and Mad Men.

The Blog was borne through boredom and Mad Men makes me want to drink like a fish. And smoke like the tail-pipe of an 88 Caprice Classic. Is there anything to do anywhere? Is there any work to do? Any playing? It's raining and there isn't much to do about that. They're drinking vodka for lunch on Mad Men and I want to join in. 

There are mice in my apartment and they've learned to outsmart two different types of traps. Should I get an owl? There's no way those rodents can outsmart that ancient wisdom. Valium, anyone?

Mint Juleps. Not just for racists.

Let's have a mint julep.

Yeah!

Wait.

What is a mint julep?*

In May I bought two mint plants at the local farmers market. It was an impulse purchase. I don't know what to make with mint. I don't know what it might flavour. Or what it goes well with. Lamb, I guess. They smell nice. That's why I bought them. Plus plants create the facade of maturity.

Four weeks later the mint plants are thriving, with strong leaves (or sprigs) and tall... uhhh.... shafts and that delightful aroma has not wavered. But because of all this growth and (what's a good farming word?)... harvest...YES. Because of this bountiful harvest I am confronted with an important question. What should I do with this mint? And then my answer comes. The price of Jim Beam has dropped 3 dollars.

Bourbon, folks. Let's all have a nice antebellum moment with a fine glass of bourbon.*

[* Marks the finishing of a mint julep, and the mixing of a new one.]

The thing seems rather elementary. Ice. Bourbon. Mint. Sugar. (Maybe water and/or lemonlime). Apparently (and fittingly) the mint julep is the traditional beverage of the Kentucky Derby. According to Wikiwhatnot, over 120, 000 are sold at Churchill Downs in 2 days!*

You'll hear the mint julep referred to as a sort of bourbon mojito. I guess this is something. Smirnoff has recently released a premixed vodka mojito and certainly that's evidence of the cocktail's reestablished popularity. This mix-master-theorist predicts a similar renaissance of The Kentucky Classic. Buy a couple mint-plants and that cheapened Jim Beam. People will think you're trendy and mature. *

The Stuffed Pepper.

The stuffed pepper. Why?

Stuffing stuff into other stuff is a practice as old makin' sandwiches. Ya'know? Pimento stuffed olives, wiener-stuffed bacon, and duck-stuffed-chicken-stuffed-turkey. Tonight, I experienced an entirely new stuffed thing. Rice, tomato, beef, onion, and pepper (green) stuffed into another pepper (red). 

Here's a tasty-quick-fast recipe:

1 lb. ground beef 

4 red peppers

1 green peppers.

1 cup white rice.

2-3 small onions.

3-4 garlic cloves.

1 can diced tomatoes.

3 tbsp chili powder.

salt and pepper to taste.

cook rice in pot. In a sauce pan, cook meat with onions, green peppers, garlic, tomatoes, chili pepper. when rice is done, and meat is cooked, mix'em'up! Cut off the tops of the red peppers and stuff them with the other stuff. Heat oven to 400, bake for 40 minutes or until the peppers feel soft.

Eat. Serve with heaping glass of Jim Beam on ice. 

Keep stuffing, friends.

The Smiths and Musical Rehab.

Bjorn Bochna has returned to all things internet with a brand new layout and a will to overcome a furious fit of cyber-electronic writer's block. Today's topics include The Smiths and alcohol withdrawl.

I took an afternoon hangover nap today listening to The Sound of the Smiths [Deluxe Edition] and just below the veil of the waking world I was greeted with dreams of neon colours and an angel. This is something to talk about. You know those particularly special hangovers that draw that old self-deceiving mantra from your smoke addled larynx... you know... "NEVER AGAIN!"  There are several approaches that one might take at moments like this. Another beer maybe?I think not. Or the obvious and conveniently alliterated method of "shit, shower, shave."  Some people swear by fat joints and bong rips. There's also the chemical approach which requires the ingestion of painkillers, electrolytes, caffeine, and occasionally banned or controlled substances. But there is something else. The noble approach, the healthy approach, the patient approach. Ride. It. Out.

If this is your route, I have to recommend a nice long nap with loud music playing near your bed . It dissolves your fitful hangover zzzz in something stable and consistently sensory. My prescriptions for the sweaty, mish-mash of alcohol accented sleeps include Radiohead, In Rainbows; Ryan Adams, Easy Tiger; Grizzly Bear, Yellow House; and John Lennon, Imagine. This musical catnap is not so much a remedy as a diversion. And the music certainly overrides that pesky white noise that echoes in your damaged and mushy brain. Here's what you can expect from the music technique:

1. Dreams with lyrics, a soundtrack and, in some cases, interesting themes. Occasionally you may have a run-in with an ex-girlfriend, any one of The Beatles, or a grizzly bear. 

2. The music acts as a metronome and timeline. For instance, if I fall asleep to Neko Case, Middle Cyclone and I wake up before the 31.5 minute cricket/mosquito solo, I know that I've been asleep for less than an hour.

3. This is a sure way to establish an album as a staple of your musical catalogue.

There are plenty of other fun qualities to this treatment. It's Musical Rehab for the self-loathing morning after. Other musical recommendations include Kanye West Graduation or The College Dropout, Old Crow Medicine Show (the first one), and Franz Ferdinand. Seriously give this a whirl. Take a nap. And start piecing your life back together.